Christmas Clever Knitting Lesson

1. Go to Latvia.

2. Get inspired by ancient Latvian mitten knitting containing secret mythological code patterns.

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3. Find knitting store.

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4. Buy Latvian Mitten Knitting Kit.

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5. Travel to a different country.

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6. Come to realization that it is Christmas Eve, you know no one, don't speak the language, everything is closed, & the streets are deserted.

7. Decide this is a good time to start those mittens.

8. Come to realization that mythological knitting pattern is extremely complex.

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9. Come to realization that needles from kit are teeeennny tiiiiinnny double-pointed steel needles barely thicker than a sewing needle & that they stab you in the belly with the wrong ends when you try to use them.

10. Decide to make a decorative Christmas tree in hotel room using stabby double-pointed steel needles & candies thoughtfully provided by hotel staff.

11. Decide you will use yarn to knit something else, something easy yet useful...a shawl.

12. Find free pattern for said shawl on Internet. Download.

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13. Come to realization that teeeeennny tiiiiny needles are much too narrow for said shawl.

14. Come to realization that you are extremely clever to have packed a supply of duct tape.

15. Make double-thickness needles using duct tape.

16. Come to realization that said double-needles just cause yarn to split & are still too narrow.

17.  Decide you are a genius because you have other pointed objects in your suitcase...your souvenir pencils from the Kremlin Armory Museum in Moscow.

18. Begin shawl using souvenir pencils as knitting needles.

19. Decide you are extremely brilliant.

20. Express silent gratitude that yarn colors are dark, as pencil graphite is rubbing off on yarn.

21. Decide invention of Christmas Pencil Knitting warrants cocktail.

22. Using ingredients on hand, mix Fanta orange soda & Polish vodka, favored drink of sneaky 12-year-olds.

Happy Christmas Eve all!

* These pics are from the web.