Limbo Might As Well Be Hell

Fact 1:   Friday, 7 AM, start of travel day from Palermo, Italy to Porto, Portugal

Fact 2:   Saturday, 4 PM arrived in Porto

Fact 3:   That is 33 hours

Fact 4:   There are 4 1/2 hours of flying time between the two cities, by the most common route

Fuzzy Fucking Math.

This is Alitalia:

This is Palermo, Italy to Porto, Portugal:

But there are no direct flights. One must go from Palermo to Rome, then Rome to Porto:

These are people waiting for the plane, which is late:

This is Alitalia, explaining that the plane will leave Palermo at least 90 min late:

This is me, wondering how I will make my connection in Rome on time:

This is me missing connection in Rome:

This is annoyed Alitalia employee explaining that I should instead go from Rome to Geneva, then to Porto, arriving after midnight:

These are Alitalia customers after hearing that the flight to Geneva will be 3 hrs late:

This is me, realizing that I would then miss the second connection to Porto:

This is Alitalia announcing that some of us must instead spend the night in an airport hotel in Rome:

This is me sprawled on a bed in an anonymous airport hotel, with no toothbrush or change of clothes, wondering if I will ever see my suitcase again:

This is me before going to Rome airport the next morning:

This is the result of Roman TSA agent ripping up my sweater-in-progress in order to confiscate my knitting needles, which people fly with all the time:

This is me pleading with him not to do it:

This is TSA agent mock-stabbing himself in neck to demonstrate his belief that I will do likewise to the pilot if he lets me take them on the plane:

This is me in end-stage murderous rage.

This is me drinking in airport bar at 11:00 AM:

Thus ends this sad & woeful tale

Of airport trouble & travail....