Railroad Alley: Lisbon Is Incoherent

Meaning: it does not cohere in a narratively linear fashion. Lisbon is big & sprawling &, like LA, it doesn't really have a center. Or, more accurately, every neighborhood thinks it's the center. It's a city of many beginnings. There were great explorers we learned about in grade school...those romantic names -- Vasco de Gama, Pedro Alverez Cabral, Joao Vaz Corte-Real -- who discovered the world in the 15th century, during which time Portugal enjoyed tremendous prosperity & global power, a time they now proudly refer to as "The Discoveries." Things got even more extravagant when they discovered gold in Brazil. Spices, jewels, opulent architecture. Then three terrible earthquakes on one day in 1755 (they were so strong that chandeliers swayed in Madrid), accompanied by tsunami waves & devastating fires. Two-thirds of Lisbon -- gone. Two-thirds of its population -- dead. Then, over time, waves of occupiers, each putting their own stamp on rebuilding the city. That's why it's incoherent: no place is just one thing. It's not a story that turns page after page....it's a story in which all the pages are loose & gathered together every which way in a big, dynamic, colorful, glorious mess.

People here say they don't like skyscrapers; they like "landscrapers," so Lisbon spreads out far & wide.

There are plenty of monuments, as there must be in every European city

Pigeons show their usual irreverence

Men with ringlets & pet lions

Men getting stomped by elephants

Knights in shining armor

Their crown jewel of monuments is called Padrão dos Descobrimentos (The Discoveries Monument), a huge prow of a ship pointing out over the Tagus River that leads to the sea.

It's decorated with large statues of Portugese explorers

There's only one woman (second from the end). She was not an explorer...she's there because she was the sculptor's mother & he wanted her there.

There are ancient fortresses

And Art Nouveau houses

And modern buildings. This is their "Tower of Pisa," since they greatly admired the original.

And very modern buildings. This is the Museum of Contemporary Art.

Lots of street art

It's good to have interesting graffiti to look at when you're trudging up hundreds of wet & slippery cobblestone steps while cursing under your breath because it's raining & the wind is turning your umbrella inside out & you're drenched to the bone & your camera is stuffed uncomfortably inside your clothes, in your armpit, which is the last dry spot & the steps never, ever seem to end.

"Fado" is the native music of Portugal. Lots of moody men with guitars, singing sad love songs.

Trees that look like giant broccoli

The tiniest, most adorable yogurt stand ever. It makes me want to have one & be a Frozen Yogurt Lady.

Gin & tonics the size of fishbowls...in fact, those rather look like goldfish inside...no matter, one must drink & all is fine & good with the world.

Intense competition to make the best of these little custard pies, called Pasteis de Nata. They are truly a cult here. The acknowledged champion is the Antiga Confeitaria de Belem factory & cafe. The 170-year-old recipe is a secret, divulged to only three chefs at a time. The result is DIVINE - perfectly browned so that the pastry flakes like baklava. The factory hand-makes 16,000 tarts a day & serves them warm. I went two days in a row. You can see people eat six at a time. In the summer, there's a line around the block to get in here. Another good reason to travel in winter.

There's a caffeinated collection of modern art. The museum has designated small rooms; each has about 6-8 paintings or installations. Each room representing a "school" of art. It's like speed-reading the history of art from 1900-1960. Cubism, Dadaism (yay!), Constructivism, Surrealism, Abstract Expressionism, Op Art, Pop Art. There are many schools I've never heard of: De Stiji, Post-War Figuration, Informalism, Group Zero, Presentness Is Grace, Nouveau Realisme. In some cases it seems that 2-3 friends got together, created a "school" & became a "thing." I need to do that pronto.